Tyler Naquin Destroys the Narrative… and Your Hot Takes
You were not impressed. None of you. NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE.
Of course, this animosity towards the former first round draft pick stems largely from a misguided notion that somehow Naquin’s misplaying of a flyball during game six of the World Series is what cost the Indians the crown.
Spoiler warning: It did not.
The Indians hadn’t even batted yet. There were still 9 more innings to play. Not only that, there were nine more innings to be played two days later. If you really want to place blame, how about on Corey Kluber for crapping the bed in game seven or Andrew Miller giving up a home run to David fucking Ross.
But I digress…
Two sub-par and injury plagued seasons later and Naquin was cast aside by nearly every single one of you. The angry Twitter tirades and internet hot takes from the past two seasons back this up.
But not I!
No, I have remained firmly steadfast in my opinion that Tyler Naquin is a good player. I am #TeamNaquin and the unofficial president of the Tyler Naquin Fan Club. This is a hill I am prepared to die on. I made no secret of this when I tweeted out the following on Opening Day…
Now, I’ll be honest. Tyler Naquin batting third wasn’t and still isn’t ideal. That’s not his game. He’s not a power hitter. Never has been and never will be. But this Indians team back on Opening Day was missing key pieces and didn’t really know what it was. Tito was throwing everything at the wall hoping something would stick, including batting Naquin third.
No one was pleased. But rather than using logic and trying to understand why Tito did what he did, everyone instead chose to believe Tom Hamiltion, in a Jim Ross WWE style moment, was going to utter in disbelief, “OH MY GAWD! THAT’S CARLOS BAERGA’S MUSIC!”
And let me tell you… I noticed.
A Plan Comes Into Place
And then I had an idea, but it involved a lot of pieces out of my control. I was going to have to play the long game on this one… And Tyler Naquin was going to have to prove me right, not over the course of days or weeks, but months.
And so I tweeted…
The plan was in place. I took screenshots of as many “Naquin is trash” tweets as I could AFTER HIS FIRST AT BAT OF THE SEASON. And then I had to let them sit and simmer. Allow them to age like a fine wine hoping to be able to release them upon the world at just the right moment.
And, with Tyler Naquin slashing .266/.306/.462 with 7 homers, 18 runs, and 23 RBI mostly out of the 8th and 9th spots of the lineup… making him easily one of the best bottom three hitters in baseball (seriously, to get that out of your 8th or 9th spot is a bonus)… the time has finally come.
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!! ERR… RELEASE THE TWEETS!!!
And away we go!
Alright Ms. Mollis. I typically enjoy your tweets. You’re good at what you do. You’re a joy to follow. But nope. We’re done here.
Another person with usually solid takes, but… Greg Allen, in a limited role, has been worse than even the worst version of Tyler Naquin this year. NEXT!
This tweet is crap. Shocking I tell you, shocking.
How’s that comeback working out for you? Yikes.
Colin Ray’s profile says he is a “Personal Injury & Wrongful Death Attorney.” Of course he used the word “trial” as many times as he could. He might need a personal injury attorney after burning himself with this scorching hot take.
The season is 162 games over the course of six months. It was going to be long regardless.
An you “dead ass serious” picked up your phone and sent this tweet. We all have regrets.
Tonight’s main dish is these words, slow roasted over an open flame with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti.
Your avitar is Greg Ostertag. I have so many more questions about who you are. Wait, ARE YOU ACTUALLY GREG OSTERTAG?!? FUCK.
Because we are a financially challenged team that has to build the roster in smart, cost effective ways and he has a team friendly contract. How the hell do people not understand this? Also, your cigar looks like a turd.
You know what’s insulting? Using Make-a-Wish kids as the punchline to a joke ridiculing a professional athlete. Besides, these Make-a-Wish kids have suffered enough. They don’t need you inevitably harassing them on Twitter because they can’t lay off a high fastball.
I honestly don’t know if this is an actual insult or not, but it was too funny not to share.
Anyone want to chip in together and buy these guys their own red Naquin jerseys?
Of course the Browns go three and out on their first drive of the season? See how dumb this sounds.
Good thing there are literally hundreds more at bats to be had over the course of a 162 game season, Wesley Snipes. Or are you Woody Harrelson? Can you jump, or not?
This tweet stinks. Full stop.
Usually it’s “tale as old as time” or “tradition unlike any other.” For example, @Corrigan_Tweets falling in love with Tyler Naquin by July is a tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast.
The same could be said of the decision to keep buying Browns jerseys.
Continuing to use Chief Wahoo is actually a bigger joke. Let it go, let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go. Turn away and slam the door.
“Dude stinks” says they guy pooping in his profile pic?
As someone who is obviously a Browns fan, I will defer to your opinion as to what is and isn’t dog shit since you clearly have years of experience watching dog shit.
He’s sexy and he knows it.
In hindsight, this tweet is made even more hilarious by just how god awful Jose Ramirez was for the majority of the first half of the season. Now pass the bacon and eggs, Ron Swanson.
I concede to Travis Sawchik that Tyler Naquin batting third isn’t ideal for his skill set. It’s Abbott and Costello following it that are the real gems here.
Yes, this tweet also made me want to vomit.
I hope we’ve all learned a valuable lesson today. That being, perhaps we shouldn’t rush to judgement after one at bat or even just a handful of games. Maybe small sample sizes aren’t ideal for making decisions. Or, how about we try letting go of misplaced grudges and give guys the benefit of the doubt every now and then.
If we did, maybe we wouldn’t all be so miserable all the time. There’s even a chance that we could have fun with something we say we enjoy. It’s crazy, I know.
So how about this. Starting on Friday, let’s all try to enjoy the things Tyler Naquin is doing rather than continuing to ridicule him for things he didn’t do. Let’s get behind him and the rest of the Indians as we begin a full fledged assault on the Twins lead in the AL Central.
What say you, Tyler?